Monday, May 7, 2012

The Pirates! Band of Misfits

Rated PG for mild action and mildly rude humor
Starring: Hugh Grant, Martin Freeman, David Tenant, and Imelda Staunton
Running Time: 88 minutes

YAWN! I was so disappointed in this movie. The trailers made it seem so funny, but alas, me hearties, it was nothing of the sort. There were some mild chuckles here and there, but even the children weren't guffawing at the "jokes" and, frankly, I've noticed it takes very little to get the wee set to rollicking laughter.

The theater crowd was mostly 10 and under with my daughter being the oldest. One set of incredibly redue people brought a baby. Not a tiny thing in arms, sleeping so their older child could enjoy the movie, but the two of them and an 8 month who cried and yelled off and on for the first half of the show. Not that it really detracted from the enjoyment. Of which, I may have mentioned, there was very little.

It wasn't a bad movie by any stretch, just pallid. And we LOVE pirates, normally.

There was a mildly "suggestive" comment early on about scantily clad mermaids and an "action" scene toward the very end. Nothing to concern yourself with as the remark in in passing and definitely over the heads of the younger audience members.

Most concerning is the historical rewrite of Charles Darwin as a love-struck fool and Queen Victoria as an evil *bleep* (rhymes with witch). Both real life personages deserved better than to be maligned for . . . cinematic flotsam.

There was a moral, but it was too muddled and also over the head of the target audience. Teasing and hurtful comments are made to the star, The Pirate Captain, who takes them to heart and makes bad choices as a result. Despite his poor treatment of friend and crew members, all's well that ends well, and all that.

Save your money.

Reviewed by Aimee Hix

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